We Are Golden
by The Veteran of Depression
Summary: This is another of my suicidal one-shots where Pony writes journal entries based around a song. This one is based around We Are Golden by Mika. I don't mean to continuosly kill Pony but it's better than killing me. Read, review, favorite, enjoy. :D


**This is a one-shot about Ponyboy writing in a journal about all the problems that happen after the book. **

**Disclaimer: S. E. Hinton owns the Outsiders. Mika owns We Are Golden lyrics. **

Teenage dreams in a teenage circus

Running around like a clown on purpose

_Dear Journal,_

_Soda and Steve were acting like idiots again. They pulled that stunt they pulled a couple years back. The one where they walked down the street on their hands. This time Soda had to take off though and Steve took the fall. Normally he'd be real pissed. But he knew what could happen if Soda hadn't. And he knew they did it just to make me laugh. Not for them to enjoy it. They didn't succeed. _

Who gives a damn about the family you come from?

No givin' up when you're young and you want some

_Dear Journal,_

_I walked by Cherry Valance's locker today. Our eyes met and I smiled at her. She just turned her head and looked the other way went off giggling with those other girls. She put her ringed up nail polish covered hand around Randy's waist and he kissed her cheek. Marcia broke up with him after the whole incident. She even smiles at me and Two-Bit sometimes. But never Cherry. I'm never going to walk by her locker again. _

Waking up in the midday sun

What's to live for?

You could see what I've done

Staring at emotion

In the light of day

I was running from the things that you'd say

_Dear Journal,_

_I got in trouble at school today. Well I should have gotten in trouble. But Two-Bit took the fall for me. Some soc was beating on a freshman greaser and I could remember when that was me. It was two years ago that stuff like that happened. I took a swing at the guys jaw and pulled a blade. Most of the teachers don't care about fighting at school. But when there's a blade involved they get real mad, especially after the incident. All of the onlookers ran away real fast; no one liked it when teachers got involved in fights where a blade was getting used. The soc lay on the floor screaming in agony. Two-Bit grabbed the blade from my hand and told me to get out of there. I did, but I stood just around the corner listening to the principal yell at him. He got suspended for a week all because of my stupid mistake. I went to the Dingo to avoid Darry finding out instantaneously. But I knew that if I stayed out so long it'd be worse. I'm gonna have to tell him. But what's he gonna say?_

I was a boy at an open door

Why you staring

Do you still think that you know?

_Dear Journal, _

_A police officer drove past and stopped staring at us playing football in the yard. I honestly got really mad that he had to watch us. It's not like we were doing anything. And then he slowly drove down the street. But he stopped twice before turning at the end of street. I don't think anyone else noticed. I did though. And I swear we made eye contact and he just glared as he looked me up and down. Why did he have to judge me for being with my friends and family and just playing football in my own yard? Why does the world have to judge us?_

Looking for treasure

In the things that you threw

Like a magpie

I live for glitter, not you

_Dear Journal,_

_I'm having a hard time watching sunsets now without crying. I've been thinking about Johnny and how we loved sitting in the lot and watching them together. I've been thinking about how Dally was too late to watch one. But most importantly I've been thinking about how I'm not seeing the good in them anymore. And what I may do if I don't._

Now I'm sitting alone

I'm finally looking around

Left here on my own

_Dear Journal, _

_I'm sitting alone on the front steps as I write this. It's raining outside. And that's probably good. Then nobody will see my tears. Soda, Steve and Two-Bit got shipped off today. I'm gonna be next if I don't make it into college. If I move out, though, Darry could get drafted too. This is really an insane world we live in. Most of the greasers in my classes are already over there. Some of them even came back in body bags already. None of the socs got send over. And none of them will have to. They have money. We don't simple as that. Now I'm one of the only greasers walking the halls of my high school._

I'm gonna hurt myself

Maybe losing my mind

I'm still wondering why

Had to let the world let it bleed me dry

_Dear Journal,_

_This isn't the first time I've had suicidal thoughts. But I wanted to leave the world ever since Johnny and Dally did. Johnny had a message. And Dally did it originally. So I'm gonna do it just like they did. I have one message for all the people who feel the need to judge us for slicking back our hair, wearing leather jackets, carrying switchblades, swiping cigarette packs, not tucking in our shirt tails, using slang, getting rip-roaring drunk and partying through the night: We are not what you think we are, we are golden. And if you can't understand that, I'm gonna leave, with a bang. _

The horrifying sound rang throughout their home.

**So yeah another Ponyboy suicide story. Sorry. This just my way of venting about my suicidal thoughts. **

**Stay Gold**


End file.
